THOU SHALT BE A COMEBACK

Prairie Fire Marathon

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Location:

Wichita,KS,

Member Since:

Sep 14, 2008

Gender:

Female

Goal Type:

Local Elite

Running Accomplishments:

marathon pr:  2:59:49.  Saint George 2011

Praire Spirit 50 mile winner 7:36:30 2013

I accidentally ran 100 miles in November 2013.  it was hard.  I threw up a lot.  decided to do a better job next time

I did it again on purpose October 2014--Heartland 100 winner and CR 17:38:37

Heartland 50 winner May 2014

Psycho Wyco 50k winner February 2012

 

Short-Term Running Goals:

Run enough to hold off the middle-age spread

 

 

 

 

Long-Term Running Goals:

 

Sub 3 hour marathon--SOMEDAY!  Done!

 

New long term goal:  ....run enough to feel kinda like I did when I was fit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Personal:

I was a single mom.  Two times over.  We all survived, despite the fact that I make atrocious decisions.  Then, I met a man I didn't deserve.  And he loves me so much.  And I love him. We lived in sin and bought a house for two years then hired a judge and officially got married(to our great delight and also the delight of our mothers), then a month later he was diagnosed with cancer.  Well we survived all that and he's 100% fine now.  But, we're really out of shape and really busy with kids and jobs and running just isn't my priority and there's so many other layers to all of it, but I'm running anyway.  This is my failure blog now.  Just to log that one run a week if I snag it.  
Somehow that matters and I want that run recorded.

Favorite Blogs:

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Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Mizuno Waverider 12 Lifetime Miles: 333.61
Nike Air Pegasus Lifetime Miles: 507.20
Pink Pegs Lifetime Miles: 595.58
Pink Nike Avant Lifetime Miles: 624.04
Crappy Asics Lifetime Miles: 146.72
Adidas Adizero Mana Lifetime Miles: 113.32
Blue Avants Lifetime Miles: 653.33
Crocs Lifetime Miles: 18.08
Lunarfly Lifetime Miles: 468.47
Total Distance
44.07
Weight: 108.00
Race: Prairie Fire Marathon (26.57 Miles) 03:16:10, Place in age division: 5
Total Distance
26.57

Well, this is something I will keep forever, so a long write-up, and many confessions, so read on if you are ready to see some ugliness as well as goodness.

I have to start by saying my marathons tend to be metaphors for life, and this was one was no exception.  So I have to tell the story of the year as background.  One  year ago my nasty devastating divorce was complete.  On December 3rd, I lost custody of the stepsons I had loved and raised from diapers, my sons, and my heart....broke.  I have never been the same.  I didn't eat for 9 days, and I smoked like a chimney(old additions always come back).  I drank too much.  Thanks to a  mom who always holds my head above water, a daughter who needed me, and wonderful friends, I slowly pulled out of the mud and started running again.  By March I had won a 50 miler, won a few half-marathons, and was on top of my game, and handing my new life.  In April, disaster struck, I was nailed by a car, thrown 60 feet into a ditch, and my left knee was torn open and my fibula was broken.  My left calf was missing a chunk.  I was lucky to be alive.  I spent 6 weeks sitting at home on disabilty comtemplating "Why?" I had been spared.  I should not have lived.  I was mosty, on a whole, grateful to be alive.  At the same time, I struggled in another relationship.

In June I was back running, a fast recovery that was nothing short of miraculous.  I was doing well, and began to rack up the miles to the highest ever, and my fitness came back with a vengeance.  I PRd in the half in August, and all was going well.  In September, things turned.  I began to struggle again, as birthdays passed and my relationship failed, I began to miss my boys and my life, and a sort of delayed emotional reaction set in.  Although I knew I should be grateful I was taken over by a depression that I could not shake, and I began to sink like a ship.  I was even smoking here and there, drinking a little too often, and I began to gain weight.  I fought and I fough to keep it together but I was like a time bomb that was exploding.  my estranged father began to call after many years which threw another wicked emotional loop at me.  I fell apart.  I tried to hide it, but those close to me were on to me.  3 weeks ago I decided to start an antidepressant in a wild attempt to get myself back together.  It seemed to help, and when I arrived at the starting line today I was calm, enough bandaids were in place to get me through.

The race started perfectly.  I felt great, energy was great, slept well the night before.  I held back and ran well within myself the first half, coming through in 1:31:xx or so.  My new shoes that I had run a 16 miler in 2 weeks prior and seemed fine were giving me a little problem.  I was blistered under my big toes and every step was starting to hurt.  The outside of my left foot was burning with each step.  I thought this was something I could ignore and picked it up as planned at 13, plenty of gas in the tank, not laboring at all.  By mile 16, despite my best efforts, I think I was curling my toes around the blisters, and my calves started to get tight and knot.  I clung to the hope that this would pass,but it was not to be.  By mile 17 I knew I was in big trouble,and the pace bleeding began.  By mile 18, every step was excruciating from the thighs down, and I began to mince along rather than run.  It stunk, because my energy was good and there was plenty of gas in the tank, but my calves and feet were fiery knots, and all I could manage was a short, jerky, painful stride.  I had brought my ipod just in case, something I have never done before.  I fleeted through DNF thoughts, but decided to put the music on and buckle down for a looooong 8 mile death march.

And then I death marched.  Occasionally I entertained the DNF, but dismissed it.  I quit looking at my watch, knew it was bad and didn't want to know how bad.  At mile 22 I stopped, sat on the curb, pulled my shoes off, pulled my socks up tight, tied my shoes tight, thinking it might help a little.  The 3:10 pace group passed me.  I got up, minced along, and watched them go.  A friend of mine came by on a bike and offered an S-cap, I declined, because I knew sodium wasn't the issue, it was my knotted calves and biomechanics.  Occasionally I would try to be tough and open it up but it was a no-go, the knots just got tighter and the fire in my feet took over.  I would limp on one side, and then the other.

At mile 25 my friend Nancy jumped in.  I told her I was toast and cramped and she ran me to mile 26 at the bridge.  So glad.  I needed a boost.

And then it was over.  I saw my mom and bawled into her chest over the barricades separating us.  Then I went and found my Badger friends.  Marcus ran a 2:47!!  Wow!  We are proud indeed!  Many great accomplishments out there today, I cannot even begin to speak of all the incredible stories from my running friends today.

What is next?  I feel like a broken record, I have been up and down so much the last few years that it has reached the point of ridiculous.  That said, I don't think fitness was the problem today, it was a new-shoe-biomechanical issue.  I think. Although I am not entirely sure of my next plan, I think it will involve a few weeks off and some counseling to work on the issues in my heart and mind, which can no longer be ignored or fought through without help, and then perhaps go to a local running coach, Nathan Wadsworth, who has reasonable prices, like 50 a month, to analyze biomechanical issues and get some solutions, some of which are lingering from the accident(like running on the outside of my left foot completely and then toeing off, I still cannot dorsiflex that foot much), and to get a solid running plan, and work towards Boston hopefully with my head, heart, and body in a better place.

I am a bipolar runner, although we all are to a point--do great, do crummy,do great, do crummy lol.  I am still very grateful for tons of increbile support and family, and for this blog that I have hung on to for 5 years and is more or less a diary.  I am going to have to allow myself a little cry-laughing for a few days and then make the next plan.

Good day bloggers!  I promise I'm not done yet and I will do better!!  :)

Weight: 0.00
Comments(19)
Total Distance
0.00

Well well, whatever I did to my calves, I did it good, they are like steel rods from heel to the back of my knee.  The left one is particularly bad, and it makes me limp.  Part of me says I should have DNF'd because I just damaged them more, and part of me knows I couldn't have lived with myself over that, and that the damage was probably already done.  I had very tight calves like this once a few years ago over some new shoes, and ended up with bilatarel posterior tibial stress fractures.  So, the moral of the story is, no running until they are completely 100% healed.  Nothing but gentle massage and stretching, and some core work later this week.  I think my plan is no running until the November 1, although I will get into a gym and do something.  This should be ample time for my calves to heal all the muscle damage(I do think it is completely muscular).  And as me and Julie C discussed, no serious training until we have finished out the year--we are going to enjoy our holidays, run when without watches and for health reasons, and then train for Boston as January descends upon us, refreshed and ready to roar.

Weight: 0.00
Comments(2)
Total Distance
2.00

Ants in my pants.  Needed to move, so headed to the East Y.  20 minutes on the endless stairs which warmed my calf up a lot, walked by the treadmills and could not resist temptation.  could not....so ran two miles at a very pedestrian pace....and liked it.  Next I went and did about 30 minutes of core, mostly left the weights alone.  It felt nice. I am looking forward to a slightly longer run tomorrow in the cool fall weather.  I was surprised when I hit the scale for a reality check, not nearly as bad as I thought!

Weight: 108.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
7.50

20 minutes endless stairs than treadmill, ran last 3 at 6:40 pace because I felt like it

Weight: 0.00
Comments(1)
Total Distance
8.00

I'm not doing a good job of taking time off--but, i am only running when i want to and as fast as I want--which it seems I want to run.  Today I was bored, so I got on the home dreadmill.  After 20 minutes of jogging, my legs were itchy, so did 20 x 45secs on/75 secs off, starting at 6:00 pace and ending at 5:27 pace.  Scratched the itch and made me sweat but wasn't stressful!  I might do something fun, like the turkey trot, in a month.

Weight: 0.00
Comments(1)
Total Distance
44.07
Weight: 108.00
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